I cannot fathom why a girl would want a "knight in shining armor." I mean, just examine that phrase a little. "Shining armor." Shining. Pristine. Untouched.
Undented. Unused. Untried.
Maybe I'm over-thinking the idea a bit, but I would personally prefer a knight in dented, scorched armor. Someone who has come up against the dragons in life, been knocked down, gotten back up, and kicked the dragons' collective butts. Someone who has earned every last dent and grown stronger from each one of them. Someone with whom I can compare dents and bruises, laugh about them together, then, when life decides to send another dragon our way, we can go out there together as partners and make dragon-kabobs.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Tonight on Mikki Rake: Beets and the Women Who Love Them
Has anyone else noticed that eating beets (especially the super-yummy ones from your own garden) can have...hmm...interesting and colorful after-effects?
No? Just me?
Never mind then.
No? Just me?
Never mind then.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
White Wedding...or Not
I currently work at [Women's Clothing Retailer], and, this being spring, I'm starting to get lots of ladies coming in looking for dresses to wear at weddings; many of these women are mothers of the bride or groom. I am also noticing a disturbing trend: colorblind brides. At least I can only assume that is the cause behind such wedding color combinations as burnt orange and avocado green. (Really???)
Girls. Brides. Ladies. Let's talk. I don't care what current fashion trends are, what the bridal magazines say, or who is telling you that trendy color combo is a good idea. Red/black/white looks stunning, yes, but think about it for a minute. Forest green and sky blue? Nothing wrong with the colors individually, of course. Burnt orange and avocado green - for real? Are you wearing camo? Going hunting? More importantly, think about these color combinations and ask yourselves:
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IT IS FOR YOUR POOR MOTHER/BRIDESMAIDS/ANYONE TO FIND A DRESS TO MATCH YOUR WEDDING COLORS???? Do you realize the kind of pain you're putting these women through? These are women who care about you! Putting them through this is simply no way to treat them!
And consider when you look back on your wedding photos in 10, 20 or 30 years - the sheer, dated trendiness of it all will not inspire a positive response. Really. It won't. I promise.
Do yourselves - and everyone else - a favor: use a little common sense. And, if necessary, have the photos done in black & white.
Girls. Brides. Ladies. Let's talk. I don't care what current fashion trends are, what the bridal magazines say, or who is telling you that trendy color combo is a good idea. Red/black/white looks stunning, yes, but think about it for a minute. Forest green and sky blue? Nothing wrong with the colors individually, of course. Burnt orange and avocado green - for real? Are you wearing camo? Going hunting? More importantly, think about these color combinations and ask yourselves:
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IT IS FOR YOUR POOR MOTHER/BRIDESMAIDS/ANYONE TO FIND A DRESS TO MATCH YOUR WEDDING COLORS???? Do you realize the kind of pain you're putting these women through? These are women who care about you! Putting them through this is simply no way to treat them!
And consider when you look back on your wedding photos in 10, 20 or 30 years - the sheer, dated trendiness of it all will not inspire a positive response. Really. It won't. I promise.
Do yourselves - and everyone else - a favor: use a little common sense. And, if necessary, have the photos done in black & white.
The Crimson Pact
I just came across this by way of Larry Correia (author of the amazing Monster Hunter International novels - GO READ THEM NOW) - the next flash fiction reading period is through June 6, 2011. Any authors wanting to bowl someone over and get an anthology invite, now's your chance. More info here.
Sounds like fun. >: )
Sounds like fun. >: )
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Just call me "Nona"
Apparently I am an old European woman. Very old.
Not only do I have a bunion (here I just thought my right foot was wider than the left - don't laugh, if you saw my fat little duck feet, you'd understand!) and an unsightly, particularly long hair that grows out of my cheek, I have also started growing 3 or 4 equally unsightly extra-long hairs out of my chin. Lovely. Seriously. Hello tweezers, you're my new best friends. And we're just going to ignore the little downy stuff on my lip.
35, I thought we were going to get along. How could you betray me like this??
Fortunately, when I take myself out from under the microscope, I'm not half as hideous as all that sounds (please see photo at right - thank you). And let's not forget I've lost 14 pounds since December. Gotta focus on the positive, after all.
Now get off my lawn.
Not only do I have a bunion (here I just thought my right foot was wider than the left - don't laugh, if you saw my fat little duck feet, you'd understand!) and an unsightly, particularly long hair that grows out of my cheek, I have also started growing 3 or 4 equally unsightly extra-long hairs out of my chin. Lovely. Seriously. Hello tweezers, you're my new best friends. And we're just going to ignore the little downy stuff on my lip.
35, I thought we were going to get along. How could you betray me like this??
Fortunately, when I take myself out from under the microscope, I'm not half as hideous as all that sounds (please see photo at right - thank you). And let's not forget I've lost 14 pounds since December. Gotta focus on the positive, after all.
Now get off my lawn.
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